just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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