dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
