actually, I'm a sock model
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
