Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
