Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The air was thick with penises
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint