chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.