I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.