don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
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If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.