I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
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so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?