Texts From Last Night

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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.

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  (580): I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite. http://tfl.nu/hgau
  Replies (12) Good night (798) Bad night (2588)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview

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  (514): in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview http://tfl.nu/us78
  Replies (19) Good night (963) Bad night (3518)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.

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  (229): so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing. http://tfl.nu/p809
  Replies (26) Good night (2695) Bad night (988)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks

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  (734): dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks http://tfl.nu/2ro0
  Replies (28) Good night (4436) Bad night (777)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.

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  (785): last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ifrq
  Replies (18) Good night (7524) Bad night (970)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.

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  (608): I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her. http://tfl.nu/mczp
  Replies (28) Good night (2684) Bad night (12119)
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  (516): View more from New York

  no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"

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  (516): no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?" http://tfl.nu/24qc
  Replies (8) Good night (4841) Bad night (2013)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.

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  (330): we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it. http://tfl.nu/vxbj
  Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (2011)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free

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  (203): My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free http://tfl.nu/uzsl
  Replies (2) Good night (1668) Bad night (581)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.

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  (708): Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life. http://tfl.nu/mhw6
  Replies (14) Good night (2491) Bad night (749)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.

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  (410): I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while. http://tfl.nu/y6er
  Replies (10) Good night (1121) Bad night (799)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't

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  (419): He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't http://tfl.nu/8sga
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (924)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous

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  (801): You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous http://tfl.nu/k8ug
  Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (510)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together

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  (715): The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together http://tfl.nu/qn3b
  Replies (0) Good night (303) Bad night (257)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do

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  (919): It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do http://tfl.nu/kn63
  Replies (4) Good night (230) Bad night (459)

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