Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant

  (360): View more from Washington

  At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats

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  (206): She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant (360): At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats http://tfl.nu/21vb
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (2271)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally

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  (281): My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally http://tfl.nu/8k7h
  Replies (30) Good night (899) Bad night (4237)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex

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  (412): I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex http://tfl.nu/na8l
  Replies (58) Good night (6234) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay

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  (937): I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay http://tfl.nu/llvu
  Replies (14) Good night (905) Bad night (5271)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (1067) Bad night (3266)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"

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  (732): apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok" http://tfl.nu/q772
  Replies (19) Good night (4167) Bad night (1653)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".

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  (208): She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs". http://tfl.nu/ppqp
  Replies (23) Good night (8981) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.

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  (270): he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment. http://tfl.nu/tur1
  Replies (5) Good night (2449) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.

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  (231): You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked. http://tfl.nu/mtva
  Replies (4) Good night (2304) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.

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  (910): Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook. http://tfl.nu/qwbp
  Replies (11) Good night (1345) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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  (510): yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him http://tfl.nu/nlke
  Replies (2) Good night (1699) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.

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  (801): You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fwv4
  Replies (5) Good night (443) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Tuesday

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  (508): What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you... (860): Tuesday http://tfl.nu/gel8
  Replies (4) Good night (1815) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me

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  (315): In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me http://tfl.nu/ug28
  Replies (7) Good night (1067) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer

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  (770): I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer http://tfl.nu/8rgu
  Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (323)

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