Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back