just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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