Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I've blown a few things in my day
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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