can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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