Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
