so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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