I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
