I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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