an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
