I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
