Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
