Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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