We named our party play list daddy issues
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
