Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize