I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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