Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
