Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
