Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
