Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
