no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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