So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
