tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
