It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
