I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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