so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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