Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
