I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize