Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
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I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
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You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.