i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.