My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I will be naked everywhere
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
