Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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