Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess

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(646): View more from New York

you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(559): View more from California

Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.

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(713): View more from Texas

Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....

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