i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.