you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion