Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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