I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?