u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
