Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
