Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
