is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
