For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
