i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
