fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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