I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We left the knife in your bed.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
