the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
