this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize