And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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