i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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