you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
