I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
