What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
