You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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