Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
