She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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