Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
