Who wears a wallet chain?!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
