We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
