Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
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Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
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he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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