If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
